Suicide and Not Dying With Regrets
When people commit suicide, they inevitably leave the wreckage of unanswered questions as their friends try to understand WHY? Often, friends and ...
We are left to wonder, "What can I learn from the suffering of someone like Hunter?" I turn to someone who has become an expert at helping people to die well. Palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware. She has cared for thousands of patients. She shares the most common regrets her patients expressed in their final weeks.
1. Living true to yourself
"I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
2. Express your feelings
"I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings."
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
3. Keep Your Friends
"I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
4. Choose Happiness
"I wish that I had let myself be happier."
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
